Darkness

Despair and Darkness has been an overwhelming theme I see in Jeremiah and it is quite sad. I'm on chapter 17 and there is nothing but sorrows. The people of Israel have turned from God and he is going to bring on them a disaster. The first few chapters have been about how the Israelites have whored themselves out to other gods as it says in Jer 2:20-21:

20"For long ago I broke your yoke
and burst your bonds;
but you said, 'I will not serve.'
yes, on every high hill
and under every green tree
you bowed down like a whore.
21Yet I planted you a choice vine,
wholly of pure seed.
How then have you turned degenerate
and become a wild vine?

The beginning is filled with such sorrow and lament from God. Like a husband whose wife was an adulteress, there is such sadness and a sense of betrayal. I don't know if it exists anymore in this age of "open relationships" such as on facebook, but I cannot stand them. I don't think my heart could ever handle such pain of betrayal by a lover. But yet here is God, that old foolish lover who chases after his bride, knowing that she has whored herself out and yet still wanting her to return. Truly truly, he is a hopeless romantic. The original hopeless romantic. The one, like in movies, who's hopelessness bends our hearts towards him.

You have played the whore with many lovers;
and would you return to me?
declares the LORD.
2Lift up your eyes to the bare heights, and see!
Where have you not been ravished?
By the waysides you have sat awaiting lovers
like an Arab in the wilderness.
You have polluted the land
with your vile whoredom. Jer 3:1-2

6The LORD said to me in the days of King Josiah: "Have you seen what she did, that faithless one, Israel, how she went up on every high hill and under every green tree, and there played the whore? 7And I thought, 'After she has done all this she will return to me,' but she did not return. Jer 3:6-7

But I cannot ignore the verses that really bug me. More like frighten me. The Lord says to Jeremiah, do not pray for these people, do not intercede for them because I will not listen.
I can't quite understand that. It sounds so painful. To have to bring such desolation on the ones you love I could not understand and I still don't.

But maybe I might after I read the 51 chapters...
I never imagined it would be so long but already in the later chapters, God gives the people chances to repent and to turn back. In chapter 17 he says, observe the Sabbath, just don't work for one day and once again this city will thrive and it's peoples will endure forever. What a simple request. Sounds alot like what J asks of me and when we talk about the future. Don't be preoccupied by money because it isn't what the relationship is based on. Security and wealth are secondary to the relationship and I think as a man, I often overlook that. I often think that I need certian things and a certian amount of money to secure the relationship but it is often the simple things and the things that show you care that matter the most. And here God asks for the Sabbath to be observed, baby steps to repentance. He does not even ask for them to burn all the idols yet. Just take one day out of the week to remember me...but the people are deaf and do not hear...

And this brings the story to myself.
I often do not hear God. I often hear and choose to ignore and say Peace Peace when there is no peace.
Maybe I need to experience desolation and exile. Complete destruction and Judgement
Jeremiah speaks to the darkness in my own heart. I harbour darkness in my heart. I love that phrase "harbour". It really gives you an image of a haven in the storm and God's naval fleet is demanding that you release to him the pirates that are in your harbour and you say no! they are under my protection and i will do with them as I see fit. He does not force himself on you.

And I repent but it still feels like the darkness clings to me like a leech or sand in your shorts, you can't wash all of it out. That's what I thought about when I went to sleep last night. There is so much darkness in my own life that I can't come to terms with, so much that I cannot get rid of. I prayed on the bus today, that my tiny bit of faith would not fail me in knowing that his forgiveness is complete and his cleansing is complete. I wanted to read Jeremiah for today but i was much too busy until now, until this afternoon. And this is what it says:

14Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed;
save me, and I shall be saved,
for you are my praise.
15Behold, they say to me,
"Where is the word of the LORD?
Let it come!"
16I have not run away from being your shepherd,
nor have I desired the day of sickness.
You know what came out of my lips;
it was before your face.
17Be not a terror to me;
you are my refuge in the day of disaster.
18Let those be put to shame who persecute me,
but let me not be put to shame;
let them be dismayed,
but let me not be dismayed;
bring upon them the day of disaster;
destroy them with double destruction!

Save me and I shall be saved, Heal me and I shall be healed, Let them be put to shame who persecute me but let me not be put to shame. It's almost a calling to holiness, to leave Egypt. A call of second chances, fresh starts and a new self. As if God says, things are restored go on your way.

The sermon on sunday was about darkness and hope. There cannot be Hope without Lament. Lament for the sorry bodies we are and that's why the book after Jeremiah is called Lamentations. It's a poem written by Jeremiah for the Israelites to mourn the destruction and what they have done. And I mourn for what I have done, the pride that keeps me from God, the shame that keeps me from God and the pride that keeps me from others.

Now may you know his love for you, that he would take you back at any time in any shape or form
May you know that he pursues you like a hopeless romantic
and may you know your own darkness that you may truly know hope