I have realized that a lot of my posts have to do with me being a wuss. Well it's true. I cannot set up to a challenge. Heck, I took a job at starbucks cause I was too scared to start teaching english. I live my life in fear. In my own shadow. And that's a problem because that age is coming when I can no longer hide...sigh* but it just seems so far off you know? like who I have to become seems so much further off then the time I have to become that person.
There's a verse in scripture that describes me well. It comes from Isaiah 41:14 and it says "Fear not, you worm Jacob, you men of Israel". There is also a verse around there that describes God and it says "fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Israel means striving with God and men and prevailing. I wish sometimes that I was given that name. A name of strength and encouragement. One that remembers my history and predicts my future and gives me help in my present distress.
How come I don't see God as a warrior but as a wuss who is all about love, almost a hippie?
What happened to the God who conquers and destroys and protects?
It's sure hard to find that balance of him, a warrior yet a lover and a father to all
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