Terminal

2009 is a bad year.

It's a year of pain and sorrow. It's a year of unanswered questions. It's a year of uncertain futures and unimaginable partings. It's a year of waiting.

I'm sitting in my office at Douglas College right now and I'm just thinking of how mundane my life is. How unorganized and jumbled my journey has become. Lately I've been thinking how I am so far off the path I want to be on yet I am not ready to be on the path yet either. I write this to share with you and remind myself of these times. Times where my calling feel so far off. I often feel like a child, unable to do the things that need to be done. I also feel disconnected and unfulfilled as my job just doesn't really satisfy my soul cravings.

But.

I have been rereading velvet elvis and been reminded that any job that I do, if I do it in the name of Jesus, is sacred. I bring the divine everywhere I go so it doesn't matter what I am doing now but it's if I am aware of the presence of God.

What that looks like I'm not sure yet. I have been trying to listen to God speak but I find that my mind is so noisy. It is so cluttered with thoughts and ideas that distract me and keep me from calming down.

I apologize for the unorganized rant that this may have become and I'll just end on one point as I wait here.

Shalom.

This word has been on my mind a lot lately. It means more than peace. It is the goodness of the presence of God.

The goodness of the presence of God.

May you come to experience the goodness of the presence of God in this bleak year.