Half a year later

It's been an interesting half a year. I always try to avoid this topic when people talk to me:

Why did you sell the Volvo?

I don't really want to answer them because I still can't verbalize my thoughts in a coherent sentence. It'll probably take me 30 mins to explain the whole shebang so I usually don't say anything. Then people reason through and ask me if it was because: 1) it cost too much to fix 2) it was getting old 3) or my parents made me do it. And now I say the benz isn't mine because I don't like the appearance of a spoiled kid so I say it's my dad even though it's mine.

I'm afraid of explaining myself in many ways but it has been an interesting half a year. Last summer when I said "I do" to selling the car after God told me to do it, (which I can't really explain to most people because they think it's wierd), I remember saying that I couldn't imagine myself without this segment of my life. Without doing the car talk and browsing the automotive forums. Today after I thought of Dan Ng and how I had avoided telling him a few nights ago about this spectacular experience of growing closer to God, I realized how I hadn't really talked about cars or anything like that for a long time and how I type in run on sentences... From I couldn't imagine myself without cars to not even realizing and missing the fact that I talked about cars. Now if you (daniel, myself) don't remember how serious it was, I was at the point of tears. It felt like I was cutting off my own legs when I heard from him that I needed to sell my car although Joyce will say I am exaggerating.

It is quite strange how God aligns your will to his. And if you don't know God, I don't think there's any way I could explain this to you in a way that doesn't make me sound crazy. I've gotten some strange looks and I wish I would have the time to tell them and help them understand how wonderful it has been to lose the volvo.

I saw a yellow yesterday on the street and I just remember that feeling of saying bye to a long lost friend. Kind of like a funeral when you've had closure and being joyful that you can move on.

walking with God has been strange yet wonderful. giving me something only to take it away. curious
wonderful how he changes you in ways you would never expect or wanted in the first place
thank you.