Faith

The sermon today was from Phil 3 and about citizenship. Our citizenship in heaven and we talked about how heaven was coming here and we had to "cultivate" earth, not give up on it and wait for heaven. I'm not suppose to wait around for a passport out of this place but rather prepare this place as heaven will probably be something like earth but without tears and without needs and what not.

I had heard this idea about heaven coming and having to culivate christian influence on earth and honestly i didn't buy it (these past few weeks have made me increasingly honest). I always thought and i think i still do think to some degree that heaven would be quite a bit different because the earth would be cleansed and i didn't buy the whole "let's influence and take back the world for christ" perspective.

Perhaps it is because i don't want to force my faith on others. I feel really awkward and just uncomfortable to do it. I guess that's why i am so awkward around christian culture and that stuff (like protesting abortions and what not). I just don't fit in and don't really want to either.

The other thing is fear and hopelessness. I honestly, deep inside my being, do not believe that we can turn this world around. I believe it is only going to get worse even if we make an effort. This is the sad person i am, a quitter. I don't cozy up to a challenge as well as i would have hoped myself to. And while i sat on the stage thinking about asking AR how he copes with the idea that we should do something but we know it is futile til Christ returns, one word popped up in my head: Faith

Faith that God was working in the world and restoring things to himself and to perfection. And this idea really encouraged me because it's the most real example i have of faith challenging me in my life. I really need to believe and trust that he works in this world to save it. And i need to believe it so much so that I can act on this belief to join him in his work.

Just thought i'd write that down before i forgot.
and i thought it was kind of cool because it was faith that really took some believing.
maybe alot more believing than the fact that that same man would die for me (and all)