Goodbye

it's nice when it says "those who mourn will be comforted" especially for men or men like me who aren't really that in touch with their feelings. it's comforting to know that it's ok to be sad and that it's ok to mourn. i like that; having a time where one can look back and reflect instead of just having to move on and pretend nothing happened.

you may think i'm cynical, but i'm just trying to be honest about these things. Giving hurts no matter how great the blessing and so does trusting the Lord. It's a strange phenomenon. I don't fully understand it because when you trust him and obey him, you don't understand and you lose alot of control that you normally have. i imagine eugene bungee jumping and lossing all control and suddenly you feel the cord slowly getting slack and catching you. But i think in this case, trusting God was like that except my whole body was dipped in the water and i hate getting wet. still, at the same time, i was comforted knowing that my final decision rested on knowing that he was the one who gave the go ahead. it was sealed with his approval. it was one of the first times i've experienced peace and pain at the same time.

i said goodbye to my volvo on friday october 27th at 3:20. i gave her one last vacuum and wash and left her at my grandparents house where she first came from. too be honest, nothing drives like her. one time, after i hadn't driven her for a few days, i took her down to work. there's an electric feeling when i touch the wheel. it's quite strange but she's the only one that give me that feeling. perhaps it's the whole first car mentality. some people never get the connection between some guys and cars and i have to admit that it's quite strange when i look at it from the outside.

she was one of 2000 and only came in black or yellow in 1995. she was pretty darn fast and was super unique. i'm glad i had the honour of driving her for the last 4 years but it's time to say goodbye my old friend. we should have known that we would not stay together til i was 40. and when joyce say that her and you met me at the same time, we knew that you and i would come to an end before her.

i've learned alot from her

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
My old friend
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
We’ve reached the end